Blue Christmas

"I'll Have a Blue Christmas Without You..."

I have been battling some pretty serious blue stuff this Christmas season. It's been difficult to keep up with writing when I wasn't even sure I could keep up with breathing. I feel certain some of you know what I mean.

I could be funny and say it had something to do with this or that, but the truth is that life is pretty hard sometimes. Teenage kids break our hearts, over and over again, we mourn lost love, we mourn lost loved ones, and there is sometimes no money for heat and bills, let alone Christmas.

It hurts to be a real live human being with real live human issues.

For me at first (dealing with my version of these realities), I just felt like the old me, the one who would handle stress with food.

Then a different old me, the one who starved herself, took over.

Neither me exercised, or I am sure the stress would have been handled differently.

So, buckets of tears later, many versions of brownies later, a couple pans of (shared) fudge, and several assortments of caloric beverages later, I am attempting to pick up the pieces and forge ahead into the new year.

My pants are pretty loose on me, even though I despise the bathroom scales. And I am soft-muscled and a little bit hairy as I write this.

I think, blog-followers, I have to do something more drastic.

I am going to join a gym for these nasty winter months. And I know just the one...

(This will be fun, I think.)

If left to my own devices, these are the exercises I have regulated in my daily routine:

1. Nail-chewing. This exercise, often considered a bad habit, is less known for its strength-building benefits for the jaw. It also helps the teeth and tongue to zero in on specific targets, therefore allowing the entire mouth area to tear into potentially healthy and raw foods such as leafy-green vegetables and obscure fruits found only at Meijers.
2. Pacing. This seemingly harmless, yet highly annoying exercise has been given a bad rap for being an activity in which people losing their minds may participate. P-shaw! Not only are participants burning unwanted calories with the movements made with their feet, but research shows these same participants are found 80% of the time to be doing an additional annoying habit, burning additional calories. (Chewing gum, smoking cigarettes, talking jibberish, texting on cell phones, and making violent gestures with appendages are just a few of the habits cited.)
3. Foot-tapping. This habit is ridiculous and should be out-lawed, but I have found that I do it all the time. I know you think I'm full of it, but this is one of the honest-to-goodness habits that slim people tend to share. They wiggle and jiggle constantly.
4. Temper-tantrums. When one parks her car really far away and has to walk a bit to get into the store, it has been proven to increase the metabolic rate for hours. These short increases done several times a day can significantly improve overall caloric-burning, allowing the person to enjoy more food, or allowing them to slim down. Temper-tantrums can have the same effect.
5. Just sitting there. (You can't even tell it's working, but in the time your brain does a shut-down, and just before you push its restart button, there is a chance that some of the garbage will be erased permanently. Liken to yoga and meditation, except it's free.)

So... I guess, with this in mind, it's time to seek outside help.

Here I go --  to the gym.

And January will afford me a trip to the salon to have the Brazilian. :)

I will write more frequently now that I don't have to sew all kinds of quilts and wrap tons of odd assorted items in paper. I am pretty pleased that the year is coming to an end, actually.

Until Next Time...

Laura Lee

"Don't be blue."

Every Time You Go Away...

“Everytime you go away, you take a piece of me with you...”

I'm sorry I have been gone so long.

I was on a very important rescue-trip to a little known but highly-plundered region of the North-West territories on the southern tip of the west part of East Jordan Lake... and it was there that I had an epiphany. I realized that fudge and no-bake cookies made with gluten-free oats are completely gluten-free, and ridiculously addictive.
No matter how important this rescue-trip to the NW of the S-tip of the W-part of E Jordan Lake... the food indigenous to this region was counter-productive to my journey of beautifying...

OK. Fine. I was busy with eating bad stuff, ignoring my inner voice which told me that I should give in and get on the scales daily, and that I should still at least talk to you about my miserable choice to drown my sorrows in chocolate.

I have no excuse.

However, as promised, I researched some foods that ARE beneficial for the journey of beautifying. Each of the following super-foods has an amazing quality which benefits either the metabolism or the skin (or, in the case of Almonds, both!!!)

I got so hungry writing, that I almost ate a five-course-meal while typing. I stopped myself. Today has been a good day. (No one needs to fuel up on anything at midnight...)

Another day one for me. Gee whiz! If I can just get through this next holiday without committing a serious crime against my body and the set of scales in my bathroom, I know 2011 will see my determination levels zero in on the prize.

Meanwhile, I plan to focus on eating these magic foods as often as I can get my hands on them. I pretty much already do eat them, so increasing the good ones, and eliminating some bad things from my diet can only be a great choice! Here's the list:

Grapefruit – Rich in fiber, it lowers the insulin levels in your body that trigger your system to store fat and requires the body to burn more calories to break it down.

Green Tea -- Green tea is the main source of epigallocatechin gallate, which is a healthy catechin that speeds up your brain and nervous system, causing your body to burn more calories. (That's just one of the benefits of this miracle leaf, and it's just one miracle leaf.)

Yogurt  -- Yogurt has high levels of protein which requires a lot of energy to be processed in the body. Plus, the pro-biotic cultures found in yogurt help regulate your digestive tract. (It happens to be the only dairy that I can eat without wheezing and sneezing and filling up with fluids in my lungs. :))

Cottage Cheese – The selenium in cottage cheese makes it a good choice for optimum skin health.  Selenium is an essential mineral, and, when coupled with vitamin E, it becomes a powerful free radical-fighting antioxidant. It has been cited as protecting against skin cancer and also fights dandruff.

Almonds – Almonds’ essential fatty acids help raise your body’s metabolism, and they are also great for your complexion. With 150% of your daily need for vitamin E, it’s a great snack choice.  Vitamin E's rich oils keeps skin moistened and its antioxidants protect against skin damage and premature aging.

Coffee – Coffee has caffeine, which does give you a boost. (One site said: “Just ensure that you don’t exceed 2 or 3 cups a day, or you risk a host of side effects, including irritability and jitters.” Ha! I did not overdo it today. Just barely...)

Turkey – Turkey builds lean muscle tissue. For some reason this means your body will burn extra calories. :)

Apples – Apples are low-calorie, high-fiber treats which your body must burn calories to break down. They give me serious indigestion, but I do love the taste and crunch of a good crisp green apple...

Spinach – Spinach speeds up your metabolism, it’s a great source of antioxidants, magnesium, potassium, iron and vitamin C, and it gets you in the “in-club” with Popeye.

Beans – Both a carb and a protein, this low-fat food keeps you full for long durations, and your body must burn extra calories in order to process it as it is so rich in fiber! It's like magic! (Is that from where the poem comes? Beans, beans, the magical fruit...? Oh, wait. I think that is celebrating one of its other qualities...)

Jalepenos – These crazy kids cause your body to burn extra calories for hours after you ingest them, speeding up both your heart rate and metabolism.

Broccoli – Broccoli contains a special dynamic duo of nutrients: calcium and vitamin C. Calcium helps increase metabolic rates, and vitamin C helps your body absorb more calcium.

Oatmeal – Because your body takes a long time to break down the fat-soluble fiber in oatmeal, this healthy food lowers your body’s insulin level and speeds up your metabolism. I have to buy certified gluten-free oats (because oats are usually contaminated with wheat), which I get from the health-food store. I have read that steel-cut oats are a really good variety, as well.

Curry – Curry simply increases the amount of calories your body burns and speeds up your metabolism. (I have noticed that regions of the earth where this spice is generously used to season food also seem to have a lower percentage of obesity. It's just an observation of mine.)

Cinnamon – Cinnamon helps your body metabolize sugars more effectively, maintaining steadier blood sugar levels. Cinnamon can also help lower your cholesterol.

Avocado – This creamy, green fruit is abundant in essential oils and B-complex vitamins that nourish your skin, inside and out. It is one of the most important foods for skin health. It contains Niacin (vitamin B3) in abundance, which acts as an anti-inflammatory, soothing irritated skin. One avocado has 3.8 mg niacin, which is 27% of our daily need.

Mangoes -- One mango has more than 80% of your daily requirements for vitamin A, which is the vitamin that maintains and repairs skin cells. Vitamin A is also and antioxidant which fights free radical damage that can prematurely age the skin. With fewer than 70 calories per serving, this fruit is also easy on the butt and thighs!

Acerola Cherries -- One Acerola Cherry supplies 100% of your daily allowance for vitamin C, which is great news for your skin. (That would make it great for our immune system, too!)  Vitamin C is a big warrior against skin damage and wrinkles, partly by producing collagen, the structural protein in our skin.

Oysters – Oysters fight pimples and boost the production of elastin because they’re rich in zinc. (Vitamin C completes the boost.)

Baked Potatoes -- One baked potato gives us 75% of our daily copper need. This essential mineral works with vitamin C and zinc to produce the elastin fibers that support skin structure. (Too little copper in our diet can reduce our skin’s ability to heal.)

(I think potatoes get such a bad rap. They are not evil – it's just the stuff we put on them that's evil. Plain, with a little bit of salt and pepper, they aren't bad. Or, I like to put salsa on mine, so they aren't so dry. Or low-calorie salad dressing. We don't have to smother them in cheese, butter, sour cream...)

Flaxseed Oil -- It’s no secret that Omega 3s are great for your skin, and flaxseed oil is one of the best sources of this . Tonight, while researching all this amazing food, I cooked up some salmon burgers and dined on them. They are also a good source of Omega 3.


Well, there you have it; My List of Really Cool Foods: Volume I.

And I didn't even mention anything about sex this blog! Wow. (I think I did mean to say something when I was writing about cinnamon...)


Next blog: Creative ways to incorporate exercise.


These will, of course, not be the typical creative ways...


xoxo


Back on Track,


Laura Lee

Eye in the Sky

“I am the eye in the sky, looking at you-ou-ou – I can read your mind... I am the maker of rules... dealing with fools...” You know what? That is a disturbing song. It sounds like a stalker-song. Things a stalker would say: (raspy voice in phone): I am the eye in the sky, looking at you. HEY! I can read your mind...” No! Please! No!

Dear Alan Parsons Project... There are only twelve tones to the scale and you cannot have dibs on a few intervals. The Lady Antebellum song is nothing like your creepy stalker song.

“It's a quarter after one; I'm all alone and I NEED you now...”

These are NOT the same exact intervals.

Dear Blog-Followers: If you don't know what I'm talking about, that's OK. It's just something I read about.

The giant eye in the sky has seen some very naughty things happen at my house this week. Namely, the shirking of my blog-duties. (Actually, not namely, but that's the story I am sticking to for now.)

I am so lackadaisical about this blog this last week. Sorry. I had a bunch of regular stuff happening around here, and it caused me to be in the here and now.

Sidebar:

I used to think that stuff was spelled “stough.” I actually thought that spelling it “stuff” was the equivalent of spelling “enough” as “enuff.” Kind of a Winnie-the-Pooh deviation. I guess I was probably in middle school before I made peace with it.

Back to Main Subject Matter:

Again, I am trying to convince myself to be nice to me. I am trying to accept that if I stay the way I am forever it will be OK. Physically, I mean. Goodness Gracious! I best continue to morph toward the real me internally, or else this blog is pointless. No, I need to keep adjusting the inner-girl. But outer-girl is pretty and shouldn't have to change to please anyone.

That's my way of telling you I was a bad girl and don't want to get on scales or measure or anything this week. I am extending grace to myself. :)

Now, for some useful blah-blah:

Here are some ideas I encountered on how to fight headaches with activities/exercises. My chronic migraines are almost entirely triggered by stress. The ones that aren't triggered by stress are triggered by hormones. Either way, some of these ideas are worth a try.

Take a slice of cucumber or lemon and rub it on the forehead gently, in a circular motion. The aroma from the cucumber or lemon can stimulate relaxation.

Walking can reduce the intensity of headaches when they occur. Frequent walks can reduce the chance of headaches occurring in the first place. The fresh air helps; sometimes the circulated air we breathe in the house or office is contaminated with chemicals and other allergens like dust mites.

Swimming stimulates the production of endorphins in the brain. These are chemicals that reduce pain. Plus, swimming is aerobic, and that's good for the heart!

Cycling might help with headaches because it exposes the body to clean, fresh air. Sometimes just diverting the attention off the headache while doing something physical is enough. Which leads to the next activity...

Sexual activity is also a good way to reduce headaches. Frequent sex reduces tension and stress caused by severe headaches. Really good sex produces endorphins. (Remember, those are the chemicals that reduce pain...) Is that why, after really good sex, people are so willing to overlook... OK. Forget it. It just got me to thinking, is all.

Yoga, which is done in a quiet environment, helps relieve headaches.

Sometimes headaches are caused by back pains that are a result of bad sitting postures. The pain can be reduced by standing up and stretching for a few minutes, or even lying down for a minute. Performing a gentle massage is also very useful for relieving headaches. In my case, the massage must be brutal.

I have been battling these evil demons of pain for a few weeks, and so I am driven (DRIVEN!) to find a good solution for me.



Meanwhile, I resort to methods of self-medicating, de-stressing, and increasing good fluids. Whatever works. I just know that I am sick to death of taking pills that are killing my liver.

My makeover for the holidays is going to consist of maintaining myself.

I ate sherbet, a banana, tortilla chips, chai tea, and a handful of homemade French fries today. Do you understand what kind of a day that is for me? Not the best... Hence my lack of confidence as I come to you and say, “Do as I say, not as I do.”


OH! And I ate one giant brownie.


I'm actually a little mad that the jar of unopened salsa in my cupboard was actually a huge jar of TACO SAUCE!!! Why is it packaged the same as my usual salsa? WHY? And I am a little peeved that it's cold now every day and that means that I burn almost five gallons a day in diesel fuel just to stay warm. And I feel anxious that my gray cat is a lunatic, but she is back in the house because it's too cold out. I keep wondering where she is and if she's going to urinate on stuff... And now my black cat is looking at me like I am her evil enemy because I promised her that she is totally queen of the castle. And I can only find one earring of at least five different pairs of all my favorite earrings. How is that possible? And … this is just the short list. It could go on. It is the stuff from which headaches are made.


So, from now until next blog, I aim to be a girl who moves her butt. I aim to be a girl who de-stresses. I guess my next blog topic should be about...


Interesting food facts.


And I promise to exercise this week...

Love,

Laura Lee

Dream A Little Dream of Me

Isn't that the Mamas and the Papas? I can hear Mama Cass singing that. Eventually this title will tie into what I have to say today. Meanwhile...

“If I can do it, YOU CAN!!!!” People say it all the time. It's a lovely way to build someone up, to have a pep-talk, to pour belief.

Yeah. I just thought about it.

Truthfully, it's just not usually the case, you know? “If I can do it, you can.” Not sure who THAT'S putting down more – me, or the poor soul I'm trying to fix. I will readily admit there are several things I do well, and that not just anybody could do. I don't, by any means, think I am “all that.” I just trained to be good at some things. And if just anyone can do all of the things I can do, then I really want my money back that I spent on college.

My ex-husband used to say that my degree and fifty-cents would buy me a cup of coffee.

(Not the coffee I like to drink...)

(Which, of course, I totally gave up. And my fingers are not crossed.)

My degree – Music Performance (Vocal and Piano) doubled with a Graduate-Bound English Major was meant to be a stepping stone to higher education. Finishing the degree was... well, it was bloody. Picture a maimed critter, limbs dangling, head gashed and bleeding. It was bloody finishing it. I was ridiculous and unforgiving to myself. I somehow decided that I had to continue trying to prove things to the world. This meant finishing this double-majored obstacle course in eight semesters only (my personal goal). I figured if they could finish four-year-degrees in the olden days in FOUR YEARS then I really ought to as well...

I carried twenty-one credits my final (eighth) semester while my fellow ninth-semester classmates were taking their last-minute general studies in the 100-level category, totalling eleven credit hours and stuff, partying on weekends and blowing things off a bit. I counted one-hundred-twenty pages of papers that were due from said twenty-one credits in the week before I walked the length of the fieldhouse to take, in hand, my certificate of completion.

I do not wish that on anyone, by the way.

By the time I graduated, I was too tired to dream anymore about all the cool things that had caused me to take on the crazy challenge of this artistic road to my future in the first place.

And, of course, I was married and dreaming about babies and happily-ever-after already. :)

So, I am mean and all that. I don't believe that simply because I can do something, that means you can.

Here's what I do believe, though: I do believe that anyone who dreams can achieve.

I dreamed of having babies. And wah-lah!! My dream came true. (I have since learned that this dream cannot be undone.) Actually, I'm not serious about this.  I have precious friends who dreamed this and were unable to bear their own children.  They adjusted their dream and have since adopted, and I mean no disrespect or flippant disregarding of the pain they endured by my silly phrase.

I dream of a way to teach people in my circle of influence how to go ahead and grab 'hold of their own dream and chase it. I know how to dream. I know how to fall into a dream and let it fill me with just enough life, just enough strength, just enough of the special glittery magic to reinforce the outline of my spirit and give me just enough juice to travel the next mile of the dusty trail into life. Have my dreams broken my heart?  Yes.  Have I failed at things I thought I should be able to accomplish? Repeatedly.

“Where there is no vision, the people perish.” I have heard this quoted hundreds of times in my life. I think it's biblical. Whatever it is, it's a truth.

We must dream. We must press forward. I am very sad to see the tired, hopeless faces of persons who let go of their dreams. I am even sadder to see these walking-undeads sucking dreams from the natural-born dreamers: the children.

But ponder this: How can we achieve our dreams if we are slaves to our physical body? If we are unable to move, if we hate ourselves based on our weight, shape, size, texture, color, features, etc., how is it that we can stretch and reach for impossible and daring dreams that we hope will fulfill us?

I am more and more convinced that the journey to a true makeover is ultimately about changing the way we view ourselves. Do we really need to be skinnier, smoother, sleeker and shinier? I read an especially delightful article once about weight and women. The doctor who wrote it (sadly everything escapes me at this time, but I promise I won't reveal anything that only this doctor is privy to, so I won't somehow be liable for not citing him properly) said something about the fact that people are always trying to use scare tactics to get us to be thinner. Women who are obese (which can be, like, not very heavy according to some insurance charts) are increasing their risk of dying from (insert scary way to die...) by 100%. According to my calculations, this means you are twice as likely to die from (insert scary way to die.) When these (scary ways to die) are researched, it can be found that the original risk was something like: “One percent of women will die from such-and-such.” Really? So two percent? Twice as many? A hundred percent more than one percent is, literally, two percent.

So, ladies, if you like to be soft, stay soft!!! If you don't like the way the world makes us think we need to starve and eat less than our children and certainly way less than the men-folk, then don't buy into it! As previously mentioned in one of my blogs, lots of men-folk prefer the curves anyway.

If, however, you do not like yourself because you want to be slimmer, or if you find that the huffing and puffing to bend over and tie your shoe is an issue, or find the inability to go to an amusement park and sit in a ride because the seatbelt won't fit is frustrating or embarrassing, then maybe a makeover isn't for the charts or the men or the doctors or the diseases or the blog.

Maybe it is something just for the person who lives inside of you.

That person is the one who, more than anyone else in the whole wide world, deserves to be indulged. Give that little girl her canvas on which to paint. Give her a stage on which to sing, or pages to write. Give her the cloud to dream... and when you draw her in your dream place in your mind... go ahead and give her the body you know she deserves to have (high-school-tiny, or hairless in the nether-regions if you so wish, or tiny tattos on a beautifully sculpted lower back, or firm muscles in her abdomen – anything you dream and see.)

My inside girl knows she (the collective “we,” actually, which includes my outside girl) deserves to be a certain shape.

It is really cool doing a makeover for me. I am not doing it to impress anyone. Because I'm doing it for me, I don't worry about how great or how horrible it's going. I just want to like myself.

When I like myself, I dream better things for myself.

So... Back to the first thing I said... “If I can do it, you can.”

No.

If YOU can do it, you can.

You just gotta dream it – whatever it is. Then eat that elephant one bite at a time. (Or starve the elephant one bite at a time. LOL.)

Just so you know, this isn't the only dream I currently have. And making the babies wasn't my only dream that came true...

Until Next Blog,

Laura Lee

Abra-Abra-Cadabra

“I heat up, I can't cool down. You've got me spinnin' round and round...”

Does heat equal energy? Hmmmmm...

Someone recently told me that my heart is the warmest place on my body.

I laughed, and of course, argued that it seemed barely there at all (my heart)...

But then I was kinda checking, and the skin around my heart really does seem to be pretty warm. The skin on my abdomen, too.

But, the skin on my buttocks is freezing cold. I laugh. Just where I truly want to increase energizing activities to beat gluteus maximus into submission... (We should come up with a villainous name for Gluteus Maximus, and refer to her as such...)

Good way to tie into my blog, I hope.

I have had a successful couple of weeks as far as eating. I managed to slim down somewhere between five and seven pounds. I hadn't weighed myself since that first week, because I am trying to not be obsessed with numbers. I am a true “numbers-girl,” though, and that's extremely difficult for me. I will do my best to continue avioding the scales except for a bi-weekly check-in to make sure I'm not accidentally getting plumper. (Don't laugh. It's completely possible.)

I contemplate whether or not the slimming down is because I am moving more and eating well, or if it's because I am allergic to so much that my body is in a semi-constant state of purging. Hi, by the way. I'm Laura. If I don't know you... well, that might just be too much information. (I smile).

I really can't consume anything at Taco Bell. I don't know how everything is somehow contaminated, but it is. MSG or wheat, or just the dairy and grease... it completely destroys me. (And I'm so truly sad to give up such authentic Mexican snacks...) So. Anyway. I had chicken tacos in hard shells on Wednesday as well as Saturday. Both times I was sick the next day (sort of starting that night) and I wanted to blame it on the traditional turkey dinners I had both days after consuming TB (of course, I had to repeat the pattern in exactness so that I really don't know what caused it...) But truly, the tacos have to be the cause. Deep down I know this.

On the bright side, I lost five pounds. Right?

I had trouble keeping up with my commitment to exercise and follow through on expert skin care. The gluten allergy has me fighting some skin issues this week, but I believe my careful work in the previous days helped my legs to stay above the target level.

I am actually amazed at how long the creme-hair-removal has kept hair off my thighs. I haven't repeated the process on my upper thighs yet, but have had to shave my lower legs three times. Grant it, the hair growth is slower as a rule on the upper thighs. But I am pleased.

Also, I know I promised (or threatened, depending on if it's you or me I'm talking to) that my first Brazilian Wax is around the corner. I am rationing. I went on a stingy, miserly little Black-Friday shopping trip for gifts for my (need I remind you – FOUR) kids, so give me a minute to recover before indulging myself in a hairless-pampering-fest.

I am officially going to start bleaching my old scars tomorrow.

Tonight, whilst nursing an evil chronic headache, I will not jump around to Michael Jackson or the Steve Miller Band.

I will instead quietly stretch and do my crunches, leg-lifts, lunges (ugh), squats, donkey-kicks, butterflies, splits (almost), butt-lifts, and bridges.

Dear readers – I hope you understand how empowering this is. Please realize that I like to write disturbing truths and silly experiences and all, but I also really want you to know that my goal is to maintain flexibility while smoothing out some muscles that almost any woman wants to make more beautiful. The flexibility aspect is crucial.

I visited my favorite Auntie today. She is actually my great-aunt. I spent all of my growing-up years going to her house on weekends to be with her. She is now in her eighties, and her body is giving out on her. She walks with a cane, and has horrible arthritis and she can hardly move her neck. Her hands are rather crippled, and now her back is in a bad way and causing pressure on a nerve so that she's in constant pain. I would that I could feed her a magic brownie and call it good – but it goes much deeper than that. The fact is, at this point, there is no such thing as “undoing.” There is no such thing as “limbering her up.” It's all about comfort and a special chair that she can sleep in. It's about getting every single minute I can with her, since her brittle bones and frail body cannot recover, even though her mind is as sharp as a tack.

We only have now. We only have this body. We only have this skin. We only have this health. We have choices – for a while. Let's make wise ones while we can.

Xoxo

Laura Lee

Two Out of Three Ain't Bad

I have to remind myself that even doing anything at all is more than I was doing before I started this blog. I have been bombarded with life, and it is very evident that I am struggling to keep up.

Meanwhile, I did workout and stretch out – doing fifty each of the exercises. I am very shaky on the lunges. I did not do fifty of those. I struggled to do twenty of them.

I am exhausted and my house is a mess. The holiday is looming large, and all I can smell is the kitty litter I need to change, but I am instead writing to you all.

I made fudge and brownies – gluten-free. I am now trying to give them away so I don't eat them all.

I decided to really give up coffee again.

I took a bath and shaved my lower legs. My upper thighs are just now starting to get prickly. And I never did break out. :) The dry brushing and Castile soap definitely have my vote for keeping the skin healthy. One thing I have noticed is how DRY my skin is now that the weather is turning colder. I try to remember to add lubricating my legs to my mixed-bag of beauty tips, but I'm starting to think someone like me really needs an assistant... (NO! to my male friends who keep volunteering to be that for me...)

Regarding removing the six or seven dark spots I have on my upper thighs, I think I am going to try this one tip I found: Mix lemon juice with sugar to remove scar tissue and bleach the dark spots. Apply to your scar or dark spot twice daily. The citrus in the fruit along with the exfoliating action of the sugar helps to lessen scar tissue.

Of course, need I even say this? ("I'll let you know how it goes...") You should know me by now.

I am almost ready to plan my first trip to the salon for a Brazilian wax. I have recruited a couple of gals to come along and do their first ones, too. It's pretty exciting.

Tomorrow, I'll write you an entertaining article about why I've decided to put gas in the tank and drive until it's all gone this Thanksgiving...

But for now, this momma has to go to bed.

I encourage you to drink water and stretch out/exercise. Even a little is better than none.

Laura Lee

Everybody's Working For the Weekend

Weekend Blog...

I was very true to my word. I increased the number of strengthening/ toning exercises I did on Thursday, and made my thighs shake and burn. This was actually the advice I received on several sites I checked when the question was asked, “How many should I do...?” of the same exercises I have chosen to do. Repeatedly I read experienced, beautiful-bottomed persons say, “Do it until you burn.” “Do it until you shake...” Etc.

Sadly this was twenty each of everything. In my defense, I did do them slowly, flexing each muscle the best I could, and checking to see which set of muscles was being worked. It is very rewarding, and I bear my ache with self-confidence and joy. (But today, my daughter made me do waaaaaaaay more than twenty...)

Also, I have been stretching out regularly. I am inching my way toward the splits. I am (4) inches from touching ground in complete smoothness. I made a promise to a friend once that I could still do them, so it's a secondary goal.

Friday, I struggled. Friday, everything was hard for me. My one daughter told me I was a horrible mother, among many other things, and everything just kind of fell apart for me. I managed to walk a very brisk three miles, and I danced for twenty minutes. I didn't overeat anything (if anything, I under-ate) but I didn't drink enough water.

So, I am looking for these next days to be absolutely perfect days where I walk, exercise, pamper my skin, eat right, and consume lots of hydrating liquids.

Why? Well, because I love myself.

How do I love me? Let me count the ways...

1. I have a nice nose. I feel a little like Anne of Green Gables when I say that. I always remember reading that she felt as though she was entirely too vain concerning that feature. I just like that mine is the length of my dad's nose, but the square-tip shape of my mom's.
2. I have large hands, but not unfeminine. They have long fingers, and are strong and steady, even graceful when I polish the nails and don't dig the polish back off...
3. I like the shape of my figure, even if I wish it were slimmer. I guess I like being curvy. :)
4. My ribcage is fairly lean. It is not where I carry my weight, so as I slim, my waist slims up pretty quickly.
5. I like my calves and ankles. They are nicely shaped, and can be very attractive with high heels on, and a semi-short skirt.
6. I've never wanted to trade my hair. It is a little crazy with curls sometimes, but now that I have an expensive straightener, I can remedy that if it gets to me. Otherwise, I embrace my Carole King mop.
7. My breasts, walking juice-bar for the babies I previously mentioned, have not completely lost their appeal. I still like them.
8. I like my collar bone.
9. I used to think I had tiny, beady eyes. But now I believe they are pretty. I've been told that my eyes are captivating, so I'll go with that word. Every girl wants to be captivating at one point or another in her life.
10. My final feature I wish to celebrate in this blog is my set of lips. I like that they are not thin. I tried playing trumpet when I was seventeen and eighteen. I finally took lessons in college. My teacher, the band director, took the instrument away from me, and very delicately explained that I would probably have more success with a bigger mouth piece. He said full-lipped people often had poor embouchures. His comment wasn't meant to make me vain. He was just trying to rip the trumpet away from me as fast as possible because I was making him insane with my pitched-cardboard tone... but it set me for life. For twenty years now I have viewed my lips as one of my best features.

I feel great!!! This is a good exercise; one I hope you'll copy. Sure, for every one good thing I said about myself, there were two negative ones I contemplated mentioning. But I disciplined myself not to do that.

I did a little research on energy-increasing activities, as well as healthy ways to maintain your energy. Even though I didn't see this written anywhere, I am going to say the activity of completing positive thoughts about yourself (like I just did about myself) is important. We should like ourselves, and especially in a makeover-endeavor. Self-loathing doesn't help us get “healthy.”

I found a couple really great resources online where energy is discussed, and I will include one particularly helpful link here.

http://www.organiccoupons.org/blog/2008/07/69-natural-ways-to-increase-your-energy-level/

Some of the points mentioned on this site I want to explore. (There are 69 points, and I won't bother writing them all down. Besides obvious plagiarism, I just think some of the points are repetitive or not completely in sync with my own blog. 69 is a great number, and maybe we can discuss the energy-increasing benefit of that number as an independent blog someday, but for today, I'll just give you some highlights and let you visit the site if you want more.)

First I want to say – everyone's going to tell you to eat breakfast. Everyone's going to tell you to reduce stress. Everyone's going to tell you to take a vitamin if your diet is insufficient, and everyone's going to tell you to get organized. I am terrible at all of those things, so I plan to work on it. Also, on this site, they say to start your day with lights on and a vigorous activity. For me, personally, that is counter-productive, as it would cause me to kill other living things/people, or myself. More dead things= less energy. I'm pretty sure that's scientific.


Otherwise, here are some cool tips:

1. Practice deep breathing: As a singer, I teach breathing all the time. I know this is one of the best things we can teach ourselves. Lots of sources are available if you don't understand how to do this. I suggest aligning your body according to your true skeletal shape, keeping low shoulders, a high chest, tucked chin, and a nice deep breath to your diaphragm. It is especially cleansing if you bend over slightly and flex as if your going to pick up a heavy object. Breathe until you feel it in your back, where your lungs are actually bigger. It feels fantastic!!!
2. Give yourself a more flexible schedule: (For me, this means being my own boss. IT requires self-discipline. But it allows me to work when I am smartest and rest when I'm not.)
3. Schedule down time: Yeah, I do, but then the small people remind me of dance auditions and striking the set after their musical, and friend's houses and can drives, etc... My down time gets gobbled.
4. Spend your energy wisely: Again, If I was only me and not me-plus-four, this would be easier. They are very dramatic, my offspring. They suck me in....
5. Take up a hobby: (I love this one, and really believe in it. It might be why I do have decent energy 80% of the time...)
6. Practice altruism: This is the only way, anyway. Do your best. Always. More on that another day.
7. Avoid late night TV and Computer Time: Oh well. No can do.
8. Stretching: Absolutely. I can attest to this. I just worked out with my daughter, and I feel amazing.
9. Go for a walk after lunch: (Or anytime...)
10. Establish a sleep ritual (and, obviously, get better sleep): Reading, sex, shower, blog, tea... whatever. Your body will start to prepare itself.
11. Kick your animals out of bed: This is a fantastic tip. But my naughty little cat is very sneaky; and her scratching at the door is much more annoying and sleep-disturbing than just letting her snuggle...
12. Wake up without an alarm clock: I laughed so hard when I read this. I don't think I am made this way...
13. Avoid alcohol before bed: Too much anyway...
14. Decrease sugar consumption: KIDDY COCAINE!!!!!
15. Drink enough water: I have taken to trying to grab a water whenever I crave a coffee. It works pretty well.
16. Eat "brain food," more protein, and drink juices: Eat healthy fats like those found in fish and green, leafy vegetables to increase your brain power and energy. (That's what they said, anyway.)  I drink a soy protein drink sometimes, and I can really notice a big boost in my energy.
17. Cut down on coffee: They say not more than one a day... I am trying to switch my tastes to tea, because I don't usually need it as a pick me up anymore. I just enjoy that cup of hot "something"...
18. Eat lots of fiber: Plus it helps to keep your system regular.
19. Check for allergies: This was the BIGGEST REALITY for me. Once my allergy was identified and the offending food removed from my diet, I felt like a new human being.
20. Lose weight: Thanks..
21. Try yoga: OK. I actually want to do this.
22. Get a massage: I have a coupon somewhere for a free one... I cannot wait!
23. Clean up: I always feel like I can take on the world when things are organized and picked up, dishes and laundry done.
24. Go outside: Sometimes I remember my walking shoes and walk at lunchtime at work, just to get out in the open air.
25. Put a fresh plant on your desk: I kill plants. That equals less energy...
26. Listen to classical music: As a musician, I agree. But I want to expand this idea to listening to enriching music. This includes stuff you didn't know before but that you truly enjoy.
27. Have something to look forward to: I look forward to my super smooth butt and slimmer thighs!
28. Talk to an energetic friend: Me!!!!!
29. Avoid energy "vampires": This is one of my most difficult tips. I know it's true, but it's very difficult. I am an enabler... Although not proud of it. :(
30. Wear something nice: Plus, men will open doors for you, and women will talk to you like you are somebody. I've actually tested this. Then you can be the person of influence, and spread sunshine instead of condescendence like other people who dress nicely sometimes do!!! Make someone else's day better.
31. Discuss something that interests you: I know this to be true. I do it all the time.
32. Let it out: Find a great outlet, a form of expression. I think preferably something creative or physical. We don't do enough of that.
33. Get things done: Ugh. Fine!!! (Do they realize sometimes that means sitting at the computer with a jug of wine until the middle of the night, though? It's opposite of these other things we've just said...)
34. Give up on pleasing people: So true.

I am dedicated to this. One week into my makeover, and I am excited about the upcoming days. I wasn't a perfect example of sticking-to-the-plan, but I did so much more than I would have had I not made the goal in the first place.


If you never make a goal, you will reach it every time! And, if you set your sight on the moon and don't quite make it, at least you'll land among the stars. Right?


This week, I will update you on my progress. I have a "starting weight," starting measurements, and before pictures. I have exercises and walks and plans.


This week I will also discuss how to possibly reduce scars and dark spots. I will discuss foods that work really well for me, and ways I am choosing to increase my self-esteem and will-power.


We will be super thankful for all kinds of things as the week progresses, of course.


Xo

Good Evening!


Laura Lee

Too Much Time On My Hands

"T...t...t..too much time on my hands..." Not really.  Ugh.  I am soooooo busy this week.  People (who grew inside of me and I birthed; that's what I mean by "People...") are sucking the life out of me.

Tonight, I told my daughter that I want to grow my hair a little faster. We discussed hair extensions (I don't mind the easy way out...) and then I said I should get ahold of some pre-natal vitamins. This drop-kicked us into a conversation about how I couldn't really handle those vitamins when I was supposed to take them. I admitted, for the first time, that I didn't take pre-natal vitamins with any of my babies. I stopped, looked at her, and said, “I'm sorry.” Then I shrugged. OK. But here's the thing: I think that's why I wouldn't let myself off the hook about breastfeeding. I was determined to undo the curse set upon them by my lack of immunity-boosting during the human-incubator phase. This was high-dedication. We are talking years of baby-making, years of breastfeeding. Of course, I am never sorry. I would do it all again.

I look at my battle scars on this body I aim to transform, and I would so do it all again.

This now leads me to a related topic.

Did you ever hear that physiologists believe curvy women have a tendency to be more fertile? It may be due to higher levels of some female hormones. It may also explain why many men are attracted to women with “child-bearing hips.” These curvacious women exude something powerful!!! A waist-to-hip ratio of 0.70 is considered to be a characteristic of beauty. (What does this mean? Do I need my calculator?)

I found some examples online, in a diet blog by Ali Hale. They were perfect for our investigation, so I am including them, in my own words. (Thanks Ali.)

Song of Solomon chapter seven verse two says, “Thy naval is like a round goblet, which wanteth not liquor: thy belly is like a heap of wheat set about with lilies.” (KJV)

Oh my. I like this. I love thinking about this beautiful, deep naval that keeps this poetic lover drunk with desire. And this heaping belly of wheat... sounds beautiful and round to me. (Although not quite gluten-free. Hmmm. Have to look into that.) :)

Mayhaps there are plenty of examples of this plump beauty. (Shakespeare, voice of Venus in the poem "Venus and Adonis:" “My beauty as the spring doth yearly grow; My flesh is soft and plump, my marrow burning...”)

Louisa May Alcott's claim-to-fame Little Women (of 1868) says this about Meg: “Margaret, the eldest of the four, was sixteen and very pretty, being plump and fair, with large eyes, plenty of soft brown hair, a sweet mouth, and white hands, of which she was rather vain.”

And another lovely example: “He watched the beautiful curving drop of her haunches. That fascinated him to-day. How it sloped with a rich down-slope to the heavy roundness of her buttocks!” - Lady Chatterley's Lover, by D. H. Lawrence (Written in 1928.)

It would appear that our obsession with slimness has been a relatively new trend, as far as the whole wide world's historical views on beauty are concerned.

Meanwhile, I do still want it (firmer, rounder, leaner.  Gimme, gimme, gimme.) I am not talking myself out of doing this makeover.

I'm just letting myself bask in my classical beauty and earthy ways. Yes, I bask in my hourglass, child-bearing prowess. LOL.

Which leads me directly to this: I took my before pictures. Wow. But not terrible. (Really.) I was a bit nervous about this. And yet, I will only post them in the event that I make enormous progress in the next four months.

I'm sure I will, right? There's no way that I can't as long as I truly press forward with the plan.

I haven't pressed forward very well these last two days. I ate everything in sight yesterday and fell asleep on the couch before doing anything good for my body in the way of actually moving it. Today, I will do my strengthening exercises minus the aerobic. I just haven't had the time. (I'm whining.) But I will be very, very diligent the next three days and so on...

I did brush my skin, and I am convinced the Castile soap, combined with skin-brushing, is helping to prevent the irritated rash that would be here by now from my hair removal on my inner thighs. The skin is still smooth and hair-free, I'm happy to report.

The fact that I was not terribly sore these two days might mean that I didn't really work myself enough on Tuesday. So I will increase my sets of leg-lifts, slow squats, lunges, donkey kicks, butt-lifts (? I don't really know what to call them...) and sit-ups to twenty or more. (Do I sound wimpy? I will get there... just trying to not hurt myself...)

Ho-kay. Zo... (Inside joke.) OK. So – I will go do these strengthening, toning maneuvers (not meant for the faint of heart) and I will stretch out, then skin brush and take a nice bath... Oh! And measure myself!!! Then go to bed.

Sound good?

And I plan to find ten reasons to completely love my physical body as is. Even if nothing ever changes about it...

So, back to the first thing I said, kinda, about hair extensions and the "easy way out" -- I guess there is none. Not for our bodies.  It's "fix it or shut it." (Both are OK choices.)  My new rule:  I can only complain if I am going to make effort to change it.

Have a great day! Love yourself! Next Blog – Natural Ways To Increase Energy. (And I do not mean caffeine...)

Laura Lee

The Way You Make me Feel....

I was going to be very alliterative and title this “Blank Blog.” And then I would just leave it blank for today.

:)

Instead, I made myself come up with another brilliant song title for today. “The Way You Make Me Feel.” Yeah. I gotta say this: I am gonna love skin brushing. It definitely helped my day get started. And I believe that the hair-removal cream worked really well for my upper thighs. They are smooth and not showing signs of irritation yet. The brushing helps. And I loved that Castile soap. I think it made a difference. I'll let you know again in a week, after steady use.

Today, because it is so late and I have had a million distractions, I will simply let you know that I maintained. I didn't set any records.

I brushed my skin this morning.

I danced for forty-five minutes to Michael Jackson's Greatest Hits (in lieu of walking three miles in the dark), doing my best to keep it interesting. I did sit ups, leg lifts, lunges, squats, donkey kicks, and those backwards push-ups for the buttocks (my cheerleader-daughter showed me them). I stretched out again, inching my way closer to the splits.

I drank water, but I still caved and had two coffees this morning. Regarding my migraine – the cause is the cure, you know?

I ate a strange combination of gluten-free rice crispy treats, peanut-butter gluten-free waffles, and blue corn-chips with salsa. It wasn't my most efficient way to spend calories. I can see that stress affects my eating.

Tomorrow is when I will take measurements and get an official “before” picture. You will only get to see it at the end when I have a beautiful “after” picture to show you as well.

Meanwhile, this is going to be taxing. Not only am I adding a couple hours of stuff to do with my daily tasks of beautifying, but I am also committed to blogging it. I have the full-time mom-gig, and the J.O.B. to consider...  Tonight I shared my dance routine with my two youngest kids while their older sisters were at dance classes of their own.  Then I drove all around my state to pick them up at various times, after driving around the state to drop them off. What I'm saying is I am completely sympathetic to a busy woman's life regarding getting in shape.

I can see how some of these things will get easier and not feel like such an intrusion on my day once I get used to them. I hope... soon.

Cheers to Beauteous Bottoms! Tomorrow, I will do this all over again, and discuss the look of beauty throughout history, and in different regions. Of course, this will all take place in a bloggishly-brief sort of way...

Laura Lee

Closer to Fine

I think that when I was being thought up, when it came time for God to decide which kinds of body parts he would give me, he chose high maintenance thighs. I used to lament this. I knew early on that I would never, ever have thighs like Barbie's. I don't really have short legs, but they are not long. They are just curvy. I like to smile seductively and say they are “fleshy pretty.” But the smile sours. They really are just plain chubby in these bleak, unwalkable cold months. (sigh). Today I am certain that I was given these high maintenance appendages because it was known that I would also enjoy taking on this project, babbling about things some might believe are secretive and better left unsaid.

Oh, today I have avoided getting started on my carrying out of tasks. Not completely. Just avoided the WALK. It's the opening day of deer season, after all. Someone might mistake me... I may get shot. I live in the boonies. People do that. (It is gorgeous out. I need to walk.) I knew this three hours ago when I, instead, loaded my purse and appendages and caboose into the vehicle and traipsed to the health food store in town to get a couple items for my journey to beauty. (I will reveal shortly.) I didn't have to, but, since I was already in town... I headed to the local resale shop to see if there was a CD case (the soft car-kind). There wasn't. But I browsed. I found three pair of brown boots in my size, and put them in my cart as I walked through the store looking at other useless items. It then occurred to me that I have a shoe problem (a “problem”) so I put the boots back. Even though they were all only $4.99 each...

Then I went to the closest everything-store to look at their hair-removal systems. I got really scared, and got out of there quickly with just a bag of cotton balls.

You see how this is going...

Today, besides very soon going for a three-mile walk (clears throat) I am going to talk about skin care. :)

It's only fair to admit to you that I am extremely allergic to wheat and gluten, and must live on a strict gluten-free diet. One of the benefits of this (now that I'm a year-and-a-half into it) is that I am slowly slimming down because I can't eat the delicious but naughty things that may tempt many of you. But one of the biggest allergic reactions I have if I accidentally ingest wheat is that my skin breaks out in a very strange way. My face gets these patches of burn/itch/blemish-looking spots (gross, I know), and actually my inner thighs get this, too. Combine this with the highly sensitive skin that comes with just being a fair-skinned red-head, and you can understand that shaving is always iffy.

I bought the Sally Hansen home kit for waxing once. Not long ago, actually. I was so excited. I longed for these smooth-as-a-baby's-bottom thighs. I pictured them all silky and shimmering, maybe kissed with sparkly-glitter lotion... So when they turned out black-and-blue, and I wondered if I had a blood disorder, I realized I shouldn't wax my own thighs. Either my thighs are not waxable, or a professional should do it.

It is a struggle to find the perfect routine that works for me. I guess I hope this adventure will help me sort it out.

Meanwhile, today I bought (drumroll) a skin brush and a bar of Pure-Castile soap (hemp and tea-tree). I have a couple ideas...

I report to you a few things:

1. I didn't walk today. Ugh. I have only two days of grace each week for not doing this, and today was perfect for a walk...
2. In my defense, I have a migraine.
3. I have eaten lots of tortilla soup today, a yogurt, a gluten-free waffle, a glass of punch, a smoothie, and two coffees. Yum. But not very conducive to diminishing my body-size.
4. I stretched out with my cheerleader-daughter and discovered I am pretty darn limber still. It helped with the headache, too.
5. I brushed my skin. I actually paid really close attention to my thighs and buttocks and tummy. Have you ever brushed your skin? I mean dry-brushing. It's fabulous. I can see that I will become addicted. (More on this in a minute. It's my blog-subject for today.)
6. I'm planning to do some squats, lunges, donkey kicks and sit-ups tonight. (I just decided to throw in the sit-ups. Why not, right?) These are the most highly recommended exercise I have found so far. I'll tell you tomorrow how many I did of each. :) Hopefully not too many, right? I want to be able to repeat the activity, as well as carry out my normal day-to-day...
7. I am going to use hair removal cream for my thighs and take a nice hot shower tonight after I get the kids in bed. I'm not sure if I will like it better than shaving, and I still think I'll get the little bumps. But I'll try it, and report. I am looking at ways to care for my skin after the hair removal.
8. I have been told by a dear friend that she's been using the Castile soap on her face, and it has cleared up her skin, healed it, and left it soft. Well, I think at $4.68 for the bar, it's worth a try for the delicate, flower-like skin of the gluteus maximus and my thighs.
9. Wow, my head is killing me again. It doesn't matter. I committed to doing this, headache or no!

And 10.) I'm going to measure myself, I guess. I'll give in to the numbers. I decided to extend my makeover to everywhere my pair of bike shorts covers. So, from yesterday to today, I officially added my tummy.

Now... my blog blah-blah.

Several years back I read about skin-brushing. Basically, what it entails is purchasing a natural-bristled brush (which I purchased at the health food store) and using it on your dry skin. You brush in the direction of your heart, so move feet up the leg, fingers up the arm, upward on the thighs, upward on the back, etc. (I did go down on my buttocks, though. It was just easier.)

The cool thing about it is that you feel very energized after doing this. It does exfoliate dead skin cells naturally. (You should be gentle on your skin, spending several strokes on each area, but not so much that you irritate it.)

Our skin is our largest organ, and it is the first one to show when things aren't healthy on the inside. Brushing is one way to maintain skin health because it exfoliates and it stimulates hair follicles as well as nerve-endings, somehow allowing toxins to release properly. At least I think I understand it to be this way. I just think it is kinda cool, it feels really nice, it energizes (like I said) and I look forward to seeing if the long-term effects prove to eliminate some of my skin discomfort from my allergies.

One caution: Don't brush skin that's broken with owies or rashes.

Lastly, I should probably write some sort of disclaimer about the fact the I didn't go to my doctor to see if I'm healthy enough to start an exercise routine...

Yeah. Like I am going to spend the money for him to OK it, when I know that he's always asked me if I'm doing it already. But you should definitely get a physical to make sure you are healthy enough to get healthy. OK? Definitely.

More tomorrow...

Laura Lee

Wow

I just wanted to add that I started researching after I made a list.  There is lots of cool stuff for us to do.  I feel very confident that a transformation will take place.

There are one-hundred-twenty days to write.  That's a lot.  Yet, it isn't really.

I can't believe I've decided to do this as the winter months approach.  You may not know me, but here is something I will tell you: I hate winter.  I hate cold.  I DO NOT want to go outside.  And now I have committed to all these miles of walking (I think more than 320 miles of walking over the next four months). Ugh.  All for the greater good.

So, tomorrow I'll begin with an agenda and a report. 

xo

Laura Lee

P.S. I think I really do want to lose some butt-inches.  Four or five, actually.  :)

Four Months From Today...

Dear Readers,

Exactly four months from today I will turn the final age I may ever truthfully admit.  I decided that I like myself more now at (almost this age) than I liked myself when I was a completely in-shape and adorable nineteen-and-a-half-year-old (A.K.A half-this-age).  OK. So I have birthed several super-sized infants, and I have been every weight from the cutesy-curvy one of days gone by, to the forty-pound-heavier "Looming-Divorce" weight. Currently I fall somewhere in between healthy and chubby, but I am not overly concerned, because I move around a lot and eat well.

This being said, I have decided to do something marvelous and brave.  I have decided to embark on a butt-thigh makeover journey that will take four months.  In these four months, I plan to research acute exercises, and perform them.  I plan to use lotions and other beautifying products, and report back to you. I plan to get my very first Brazilian sugar, as well as wax.  I will report the differences, which I like better, and whether I plan to continue affording that for myself.  (Look... if you live in a fancier part of the world where this is a normal rite-of-passage for puberty, please understand that in the freezing midwest, we like our hair. It keeps us warm.)

If I happen to also shave a couple layers off my mommy-tummy, great.  But I am focusing on the butt and thighs.  I have recently decided to believe that if we "beautify the buttocks and thigh-area, then the rest will take care of itself."  I DID just make that up, but I like it. I am not concerned with losing inches.  I truly plan to improve the quality of what is here already.

I hope to entice a few fans to follow along and enjoy their own journey to beautifying their bottoms. :) Let's cross our fingers.  Actually cross our legs and squeeze very tightly ten times for seven seconds at a time. (Again, I'm sorry; I just made that up.)  I promise to give real excercises and descriptions most of the time...

First, I am committing to a three-mile walk three times during the work week, and five miles each weekend day...

I look forward to daily reports!

Laura Lee McDermott