Man in the Mirror

“I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .”

In the past three months, I have cleaned my purse out (actually switched purses, I mean) three times!!!! If you know me at all, you understand that this means I took Purse A, overly full, crammed with receipts, energy-bar-wrappers, napkins, odd earrings and barrettes, a few assorted toys – you get the picture. I removed important things from Purse A – make-up bag, wallet, brush/hair pick, glasses, dental floss, etc. – and put them in Purse B. It's so clean and lovely for a spell, until I soon find it crammed full of receipts, wrappers, odd baubles and broken toys... at which point, I remove the essentials and place them in Purse C. I hope you understand what I'm saying.

Currently I have Purses A, B, and C hanging on the door knob in my room, and Purse D needs to be purged, essentials placed in Purse E. And all the other purses need the remaining guts of receipts, wrappers and odds and ends to be sorted/eradicated.

I NEED TO FINISH CLEANING OUT SOMETHING. Just once.

I cannot seem to get the one thing done, all neat and tidy, before starting the next.

Application: Gotta do that, Einstein.

My looming birthday is shared with Albert Einstein. :)

I think, sometimes, when we have trouble getting healthy/staying healthy, it might be because we have some looming Purses (with many letter names), so that the one we're holding brings us no joy. We understand that soon this new purse will hang like baggage on a hook inside of us, and we will move some essentials into the next one.

Bogged down with too many purses, how can we

1. Have any energy whatsoever?
2. Believe in ourselves?
3. Understand the processes required for rewiring our thinking?
4. Feel organized/prepared to do stuff?
5. And so on...

I cannot relax when the house is a disaster, or sit back and read a book when I have a lot of errands to run.

How can I change my life when I have not yet dealt with the unpleasant circumstances that helped me become unhealthy? That's a pretty big purse...

I'm not saying everything has to be completely “clean” in order for a change to be successfully made. That would, indeed, be depressing.

But asking ourselves “Why do I turn to coffee for comfort?” (I watched my parents suck pot after pot of it down through my childhood. My daddy was a preacher, and we kids joked that coffee was Baptist beer.)

“Why didn't I stay involved in activities?” There's a lot to this one – I was a girl, not allowed to wear anything revealing (which included all the official sports gear at school, cheerleading outfits, basketball or vollyball shorts-sets...), and we were not allowed to “dance.” I think conservative Christian homes from the eighties did their children an injustice by discouraging them from moving much at all. The gatherings we had – since no one played sports or cards or pool or anything – all centered around coffee and food.

Pasta.

Well, that's one purse.

I've got more.

Heck – you don't need to look inside all of my old purses, but, know that I am cleaning them out.

I like to dance, and I insist that my kids dance, by the way. :)

While cleaning out my “purses,” deciding to grab hold of my dreams and move with steady energy toward them, I realize that mental and physical health are twin sisters.

And for me, the secret to quality of life can be found while embracing both sisters.

Now, an update on the boring stuff:

I am proud to tell you I have kicked coffee and replaced it with tea. While I don't always have green tea, I have not bound myself to a life without ANY caffeine. I realize that coffee is a gravely dangerous temptation for me. I almost always have dairy if I am having coffee.

So the second thing is, I am rededicated to avoiding dairy, because it hurts me all over.

I refuse to cheat on drinking pop, as well.

The first day away from coffee was really tough. I was so sleepy and miserable. But it is getting better.

Combine this with my yoga, which I am trying to find enough time to do, and these upcoming weeks should be productive toward my ultimate goal.

Oh how I long for spring. I cannot wait to get outside and walk. I love being out during the semi-warm/warm weather. I understand that it's a challenge to stay in shape during the Midwest winter.

Boy do I.

Well – today, I'm sorting out the collected papers from my house. I have stashed mail, stashed assignments from my kids, old newspaper articles...

That's one of my purses, by the way.

Hopefully I will have more energy to do something really sweet for myself when it's all done.

Until Next Time...

Laura Lee