Blue Christmas

"I'll Have a Blue Christmas Without You..."

I have been battling some pretty serious blue stuff this Christmas season. It's been difficult to keep up with writing when I wasn't even sure I could keep up with breathing. I feel certain some of you know what I mean.

I could be funny and say it had something to do with this or that, but the truth is that life is pretty hard sometimes. Teenage kids break our hearts, over and over again, we mourn lost love, we mourn lost loved ones, and there is sometimes no money for heat and bills, let alone Christmas.

It hurts to be a real live human being with real live human issues.

For me at first (dealing with my version of these realities), I just felt like the old me, the one who would handle stress with food.

Then a different old me, the one who starved herself, took over.

Neither me exercised, or I am sure the stress would have been handled differently.

So, buckets of tears later, many versions of brownies later, a couple pans of (shared) fudge, and several assortments of caloric beverages later, I am attempting to pick up the pieces and forge ahead into the new year.

My pants are pretty loose on me, even though I despise the bathroom scales. And I am soft-muscled and a little bit hairy as I write this.

I think, blog-followers, I have to do something more drastic.

I am going to join a gym for these nasty winter months. And I know just the one...

(This will be fun, I think.)

If left to my own devices, these are the exercises I have regulated in my daily routine:

1. Nail-chewing. This exercise, often considered a bad habit, is less known for its strength-building benefits for the jaw. It also helps the teeth and tongue to zero in on specific targets, therefore allowing the entire mouth area to tear into potentially healthy and raw foods such as leafy-green vegetables and obscure fruits found only at Meijers.
2. Pacing. This seemingly harmless, yet highly annoying exercise has been given a bad rap for being an activity in which people losing their minds may participate. P-shaw! Not only are participants burning unwanted calories with the movements made with their feet, but research shows these same participants are found 80% of the time to be doing an additional annoying habit, burning additional calories. (Chewing gum, smoking cigarettes, talking jibberish, texting on cell phones, and making violent gestures with appendages are just a few of the habits cited.)
3. Foot-tapping. This habit is ridiculous and should be out-lawed, but I have found that I do it all the time. I know you think I'm full of it, but this is one of the honest-to-goodness habits that slim people tend to share. They wiggle and jiggle constantly.
4. Temper-tantrums. When one parks her car really far away and has to walk a bit to get into the store, it has been proven to increase the metabolic rate for hours. These short increases done several times a day can significantly improve overall caloric-burning, allowing the person to enjoy more food, or allowing them to slim down. Temper-tantrums can have the same effect.
5. Just sitting there. (You can't even tell it's working, but in the time your brain does a shut-down, and just before you push its restart button, there is a chance that some of the garbage will be erased permanently. Liken to yoga and meditation, except it's free.)

So... I guess, with this in mind, it's time to seek outside help.

Here I go --  to the gym.

And January will afford me a trip to the salon to have the Brazilian. :)

I will write more frequently now that I don't have to sew all kinds of quilts and wrap tons of odd assorted items in paper. I am pretty pleased that the year is coming to an end, actually.

Until Next Time...

Laura Lee

"Don't be blue."

Every Time You Go Away...

“Everytime you go away, you take a piece of me with you...”

I'm sorry I have been gone so long.

I was on a very important rescue-trip to a little known but highly-plundered region of the North-West territories on the southern tip of the west part of East Jordan Lake... and it was there that I had an epiphany. I realized that fudge and no-bake cookies made with gluten-free oats are completely gluten-free, and ridiculously addictive.
No matter how important this rescue-trip to the NW of the S-tip of the W-part of E Jordan Lake... the food indigenous to this region was counter-productive to my journey of beautifying...

OK. Fine. I was busy with eating bad stuff, ignoring my inner voice which told me that I should give in and get on the scales daily, and that I should still at least talk to you about my miserable choice to drown my sorrows in chocolate.

I have no excuse.

However, as promised, I researched some foods that ARE beneficial for the journey of beautifying. Each of the following super-foods has an amazing quality which benefits either the metabolism or the skin (or, in the case of Almonds, both!!!)

I got so hungry writing, that I almost ate a five-course-meal while typing. I stopped myself. Today has been a good day. (No one needs to fuel up on anything at midnight...)

Another day one for me. Gee whiz! If I can just get through this next holiday without committing a serious crime against my body and the set of scales in my bathroom, I know 2011 will see my determination levels zero in on the prize.

Meanwhile, I plan to focus on eating these magic foods as often as I can get my hands on them. I pretty much already do eat them, so increasing the good ones, and eliminating some bad things from my diet can only be a great choice! Here's the list:

Grapefruit – Rich in fiber, it lowers the insulin levels in your body that trigger your system to store fat and requires the body to burn more calories to break it down.

Green Tea -- Green tea is the main source of epigallocatechin gallate, which is a healthy catechin that speeds up your brain and nervous system, causing your body to burn more calories. (That's just one of the benefits of this miracle leaf, and it's just one miracle leaf.)

Yogurt  -- Yogurt has high levels of protein which requires a lot of energy to be processed in the body. Plus, the pro-biotic cultures found in yogurt help regulate your digestive tract. (It happens to be the only dairy that I can eat without wheezing and sneezing and filling up with fluids in my lungs. :))

Cottage Cheese – The selenium in cottage cheese makes it a good choice for optimum skin health.  Selenium is an essential mineral, and, when coupled with vitamin E, it becomes a powerful free radical-fighting antioxidant. It has been cited as protecting against skin cancer and also fights dandruff.

Almonds – Almonds’ essential fatty acids help raise your body’s metabolism, and they are also great for your complexion. With 150% of your daily need for vitamin E, it’s a great snack choice.  Vitamin E's rich oils keeps skin moistened and its antioxidants protect against skin damage and premature aging.

Coffee – Coffee has caffeine, which does give you a boost. (One site said: “Just ensure that you don’t exceed 2 or 3 cups a day, or you risk a host of side effects, including irritability and jitters.” Ha! I did not overdo it today. Just barely...)

Turkey – Turkey builds lean muscle tissue. For some reason this means your body will burn extra calories. :)

Apples – Apples are low-calorie, high-fiber treats which your body must burn calories to break down. They give me serious indigestion, but I do love the taste and crunch of a good crisp green apple...

Spinach – Spinach speeds up your metabolism, it’s a great source of antioxidants, magnesium, potassium, iron and vitamin C, and it gets you in the “in-club” with Popeye.

Beans – Both a carb and a protein, this low-fat food keeps you full for long durations, and your body must burn extra calories in order to process it as it is so rich in fiber! It's like magic! (Is that from where the poem comes? Beans, beans, the magical fruit...? Oh, wait. I think that is celebrating one of its other qualities...)

Jalepenos – These crazy kids cause your body to burn extra calories for hours after you ingest them, speeding up both your heart rate and metabolism.

Broccoli – Broccoli contains a special dynamic duo of nutrients: calcium and vitamin C. Calcium helps increase metabolic rates, and vitamin C helps your body absorb more calcium.

Oatmeal – Because your body takes a long time to break down the fat-soluble fiber in oatmeal, this healthy food lowers your body’s insulin level and speeds up your metabolism. I have to buy certified gluten-free oats (because oats are usually contaminated with wheat), which I get from the health-food store. I have read that steel-cut oats are a really good variety, as well.

Curry – Curry simply increases the amount of calories your body burns and speeds up your metabolism. (I have noticed that regions of the earth where this spice is generously used to season food also seem to have a lower percentage of obesity. It's just an observation of mine.)

Cinnamon – Cinnamon helps your body metabolize sugars more effectively, maintaining steadier blood sugar levels. Cinnamon can also help lower your cholesterol.

Avocado – This creamy, green fruit is abundant in essential oils and B-complex vitamins that nourish your skin, inside and out. It is one of the most important foods for skin health. It contains Niacin (vitamin B3) in abundance, which acts as an anti-inflammatory, soothing irritated skin. One avocado has 3.8 mg niacin, which is 27% of our daily need.

Mangoes -- One mango has more than 80% of your daily requirements for vitamin A, which is the vitamin that maintains and repairs skin cells. Vitamin A is also and antioxidant which fights free radical damage that can prematurely age the skin. With fewer than 70 calories per serving, this fruit is also easy on the butt and thighs!

Acerola Cherries -- One Acerola Cherry supplies 100% of your daily allowance for vitamin C, which is great news for your skin. (That would make it great for our immune system, too!)  Vitamin C is a big warrior against skin damage and wrinkles, partly by producing collagen, the structural protein in our skin.

Oysters – Oysters fight pimples and boost the production of elastin because they’re rich in zinc. (Vitamin C completes the boost.)

Baked Potatoes -- One baked potato gives us 75% of our daily copper need. This essential mineral works with vitamin C and zinc to produce the elastin fibers that support skin structure. (Too little copper in our diet can reduce our skin’s ability to heal.)

(I think potatoes get such a bad rap. They are not evil – it's just the stuff we put on them that's evil. Plain, with a little bit of salt and pepper, they aren't bad. Or, I like to put salsa on mine, so they aren't so dry. Or low-calorie salad dressing. We don't have to smother them in cheese, butter, sour cream...)

Flaxseed Oil -- It’s no secret that Omega 3s are great for your skin, and flaxseed oil is one of the best sources of this . Tonight, while researching all this amazing food, I cooked up some salmon burgers and dined on them. They are also a good source of Omega 3.


Well, there you have it; My List of Really Cool Foods: Volume I.

And I didn't even mention anything about sex this blog! Wow. (I think I did mean to say something when I was writing about cinnamon...)


Next blog: Creative ways to incorporate exercise.


These will, of course, not be the typical creative ways...


xoxo


Back on Track,


Laura Lee

Eye in the Sky

“I am the eye in the sky, looking at you-ou-ou – I can read your mind... I am the maker of rules... dealing with fools...” You know what? That is a disturbing song. It sounds like a stalker-song. Things a stalker would say: (raspy voice in phone): I am the eye in the sky, looking at you. HEY! I can read your mind...” No! Please! No!

Dear Alan Parsons Project... There are only twelve tones to the scale and you cannot have dibs on a few intervals. The Lady Antebellum song is nothing like your creepy stalker song.

“It's a quarter after one; I'm all alone and I NEED you now...”

These are NOT the same exact intervals.

Dear Blog-Followers: If you don't know what I'm talking about, that's OK. It's just something I read about.

The giant eye in the sky has seen some very naughty things happen at my house this week. Namely, the shirking of my blog-duties. (Actually, not namely, but that's the story I am sticking to for now.)

I am so lackadaisical about this blog this last week. Sorry. I had a bunch of regular stuff happening around here, and it caused me to be in the here and now.

Sidebar:

I used to think that stuff was spelled “stough.” I actually thought that spelling it “stuff” was the equivalent of spelling “enough” as “enuff.” Kind of a Winnie-the-Pooh deviation. I guess I was probably in middle school before I made peace with it.

Back to Main Subject Matter:

Again, I am trying to convince myself to be nice to me. I am trying to accept that if I stay the way I am forever it will be OK. Physically, I mean. Goodness Gracious! I best continue to morph toward the real me internally, or else this blog is pointless. No, I need to keep adjusting the inner-girl. But outer-girl is pretty and shouldn't have to change to please anyone.

That's my way of telling you I was a bad girl and don't want to get on scales or measure or anything this week. I am extending grace to myself. :)

Now, for some useful blah-blah:

Here are some ideas I encountered on how to fight headaches with activities/exercises. My chronic migraines are almost entirely triggered by stress. The ones that aren't triggered by stress are triggered by hormones. Either way, some of these ideas are worth a try.

Take a slice of cucumber or lemon and rub it on the forehead gently, in a circular motion. The aroma from the cucumber or lemon can stimulate relaxation.

Walking can reduce the intensity of headaches when they occur. Frequent walks can reduce the chance of headaches occurring in the first place. The fresh air helps; sometimes the circulated air we breathe in the house or office is contaminated with chemicals and other allergens like dust mites.

Swimming stimulates the production of endorphins in the brain. These are chemicals that reduce pain. Plus, swimming is aerobic, and that's good for the heart!

Cycling might help with headaches because it exposes the body to clean, fresh air. Sometimes just diverting the attention off the headache while doing something physical is enough. Which leads to the next activity...

Sexual activity is also a good way to reduce headaches. Frequent sex reduces tension and stress caused by severe headaches. Really good sex produces endorphins. (Remember, those are the chemicals that reduce pain...) Is that why, after really good sex, people are so willing to overlook... OK. Forget it. It just got me to thinking, is all.

Yoga, which is done in a quiet environment, helps relieve headaches.

Sometimes headaches are caused by back pains that are a result of bad sitting postures. The pain can be reduced by standing up and stretching for a few minutes, or even lying down for a minute. Performing a gentle massage is also very useful for relieving headaches. In my case, the massage must be brutal.

I have been battling these evil demons of pain for a few weeks, and so I am driven (DRIVEN!) to find a good solution for me.



Meanwhile, I resort to methods of self-medicating, de-stressing, and increasing good fluids. Whatever works. I just know that I am sick to death of taking pills that are killing my liver.

My makeover for the holidays is going to consist of maintaining myself.

I ate sherbet, a banana, tortilla chips, chai tea, and a handful of homemade French fries today. Do you understand what kind of a day that is for me? Not the best... Hence my lack of confidence as I come to you and say, “Do as I say, not as I do.”


OH! And I ate one giant brownie.


I'm actually a little mad that the jar of unopened salsa in my cupboard was actually a huge jar of TACO SAUCE!!! Why is it packaged the same as my usual salsa? WHY? And I am a little peeved that it's cold now every day and that means that I burn almost five gallons a day in diesel fuel just to stay warm. And I feel anxious that my gray cat is a lunatic, but she is back in the house because it's too cold out. I keep wondering where she is and if she's going to urinate on stuff... And now my black cat is looking at me like I am her evil enemy because I promised her that she is totally queen of the castle. And I can only find one earring of at least five different pairs of all my favorite earrings. How is that possible? And … this is just the short list. It could go on. It is the stuff from which headaches are made.


So, from now until next blog, I aim to be a girl who moves her butt. I aim to be a girl who de-stresses. I guess my next blog topic should be about...


Interesting food facts.


And I promise to exercise this week...

Love,

Laura Lee

Dream A Little Dream of Me

Isn't that the Mamas and the Papas? I can hear Mama Cass singing that. Eventually this title will tie into what I have to say today. Meanwhile...

“If I can do it, YOU CAN!!!!” People say it all the time. It's a lovely way to build someone up, to have a pep-talk, to pour belief.

Yeah. I just thought about it.

Truthfully, it's just not usually the case, you know? “If I can do it, you can.” Not sure who THAT'S putting down more – me, or the poor soul I'm trying to fix. I will readily admit there are several things I do well, and that not just anybody could do. I don't, by any means, think I am “all that.” I just trained to be good at some things. And if just anyone can do all of the things I can do, then I really want my money back that I spent on college.

My ex-husband used to say that my degree and fifty-cents would buy me a cup of coffee.

(Not the coffee I like to drink...)

(Which, of course, I totally gave up. And my fingers are not crossed.)

My degree – Music Performance (Vocal and Piano) doubled with a Graduate-Bound English Major was meant to be a stepping stone to higher education. Finishing the degree was... well, it was bloody. Picture a maimed critter, limbs dangling, head gashed and bleeding. It was bloody finishing it. I was ridiculous and unforgiving to myself. I somehow decided that I had to continue trying to prove things to the world. This meant finishing this double-majored obstacle course in eight semesters only (my personal goal). I figured if they could finish four-year-degrees in the olden days in FOUR YEARS then I really ought to as well...

I carried twenty-one credits my final (eighth) semester while my fellow ninth-semester classmates were taking their last-minute general studies in the 100-level category, totalling eleven credit hours and stuff, partying on weekends and blowing things off a bit. I counted one-hundred-twenty pages of papers that were due from said twenty-one credits in the week before I walked the length of the fieldhouse to take, in hand, my certificate of completion.

I do not wish that on anyone, by the way.

By the time I graduated, I was too tired to dream anymore about all the cool things that had caused me to take on the crazy challenge of this artistic road to my future in the first place.

And, of course, I was married and dreaming about babies and happily-ever-after already. :)

So, I am mean and all that. I don't believe that simply because I can do something, that means you can.

Here's what I do believe, though: I do believe that anyone who dreams can achieve.

I dreamed of having babies. And wah-lah!! My dream came true. (I have since learned that this dream cannot be undone.) Actually, I'm not serious about this.  I have precious friends who dreamed this and were unable to bear their own children.  They adjusted their dream and have since adopted, and I mean no disrespect or flippant disregarding of the pain they endured by my silly phrase.

I dream of a way to teach people in my circle of influence how to go ahead and grab 'hold of their own dream and chase it. I know how to dream. I know how to fall into a dream and let it fill me with just enough life, just enough strength, just enough of the special glittery magic to reinforce the outline of my spirit and give me just enough juice to travel the next mile of the dusty trail into life. Have my dreams broken my heart?  Yes.  Have I failed at things I thought I should be able to accomplish? Repeatedly.

“Where there is no vision, the people perish.” I have heard this quoted hundreds of times in my life. I think it's biblical. Whatever it is, it's a truth.

We must dream. We must press forward. I am very sad to see the tired, hopeless faces of persons who let go of their dreams. I am even sadder to see these walking-undeads sucking dreams from the natural-born dreamers: the children.

But ponder this: How can we achieve our dreams if we are slaves to our physical body? If we are unable to move, if we hate ourselves based on our weight, shape, size, texture, color, features, etc., how is it that we can stretch and reach for impossible and daring dreams that we hope will fulfill us?

I am more and more convinced that the journey to a true makeover is ultimately about changing the way we view ourselves. Do we really need to be skinnier, smoother, sleeker and shinier? I read an especially delightful article once about weight and women. The doctor who wrote it (sadly everything escapes me at this time, but I promise I won't reveal anything that only this doctor is privy to, so I won't somehow be liable for not citing him properly) said something about the fact that people are always trying to use scare tactics to get us to be thinner. Women who are obese (which can be, like, not very heavy according to some insurance charts) are increasing their risk of dying from (insert scary way to die...) by 100%. According to my calculations, this means you are twice as likely to die from (insert scary way to die.) When these (scary ways to die) are researched, it can be found that the original risk was something like: “One percent of women will die from such-and-such.” Really? So two percent? Twice as many? A hundred percent more than one percent is, literally, two percent.

So, ladies, if you like to be soft, stay soft!!! If you don't like the way the world makes us think we need to starve and eat less than our children and certainly way less than the men-folk, then don't buy into it! As previously mentioned in one of my blogs, lots of men-folk prefer the curves anyway.

If, however, you do not like yourself because you want to be slimmer, or if you find that the huffing and puffing to bend over and tie your shoe is an issue, or find the inability to go to an amusement park and sit in a ride because the seatbelt won't fit is frustrating or embarrassing, then maybe a makeover isn't for the charts or the men or the doctors or the diseases or the blog.

Maybe it is something just for the person who lives inside of you.

That person is the one who, more than anyone else in the whole wide world, deserves to be indulged. Give that little girl her canvas on which to paint. Give her a stage on which to sing, or pages to write. Give her the cloud to dream... and when you draw her in your dream place in your mind... go ahead and give her the body you know she deserves to have (high-school-tiny, or hairless in the nether-regions if you so wish, or tiny tattos on a beautifully sculpted lower back, or firm muscles in her abdomen – anything you dream and see.)

My inside girl knows she (the collective “we,” actually, which includes my outside girl) deserves to be a certain shape.

It is really cool doing a makeover for me. I am not doing it to impress anyone. Because I'm doing it for me, I don't worry about how great or how horrible it's going. I just want to like myself.

When I like myself, I dream better things for myself.

So... Back to the first thing I said... “If I can do it, you can.”

No.

If YOU can do it, you can.

You just gotta dream it – whatever it is. Then eat that elephant one bite at a time. (Or starve the elephant one bite at a time. LOL.)

Just so you know, this isn't the only dream I currently have. And making the babies wasn't my only dream that came true...

Until Next Blog,

Laura Lee